Giving Care from the Heart

By Candice Knight

Whether you are a caregiver because you have chosen this as a profession or because someone in your family is in need, you have begun a journey of compassion. You are fully participating in the mysteries of life for another and for yourself.

The definition of compassion is sympathetic feeling, mercy. Yes, and I would add it is the ability to see the person in front of you clearly and accept them wholly where they are right now, and also to accept yourself and where you are right now.

How does one who gives care to another stay true to that compassion that is alive in their heart? I suggest that self care is key in the ability to give to others.

I can hear some of the responses to this—“I have no time,” “There’s just too much to do!" We tend to think that self care requires more energy, more that we have to “put out” and that’s just what we don’t have or want to do. We forget that caring for ourselves is essential if we want to be fully present and have what is required of us to care for another.

I suggest asking yourself these questions:

• What nourishes me?
• What regenerates me?
• What heals me?

Identify one thing that nourishes, regenerates, or heals you. Taking a warm bath, a quiet walk in nature, cuddling up and reading a good book, listening to some music—the list is endless. These are small things that we can do for ourselves that don’t require a lot of time. They allow us to step out or away from the “hands on” experience of caring for the other, and regenerate.

Perhaps it’s being able to truthfully talk about the experience and responsibility of caring for someone else—to share your doubts and fears and those parts of yourself that are judged by you as not enough. To be able to do this with someone who will fully hear you and not react themselves is vital. Find this person and set an agreement when they will be available to serve you in this way. Please remember that you are enough, that trying to be perfect is the road to burnout. You are the right person for the person in front of you. Trust it and take care of yourself—you deserve it and require it.

Candice Knight is a Minister of All Seasons Chalice Church, and one of the founders of Ceremonies for Sacred Living.

Our Caregiver Coaches also recommend